Kevin Flynn's Lullaby
by create.cmd
Summary: TRON: Betrayal songfic to Nickelback's "Lullaby". This looks at how Kevin Flynn dealt with the death of his wife. Some language, triggering, and canon character death lie within.


**Author's Note: **I'm not sure if this is my first songfic, but it's my first time actually posting fanfiction for the TRON fandom. This idea came to me after listening to Nickelback's song Lullaby and it solidified after I saw the music video. Yes, this songfic deals with the events of September 9, 1985. According to TRON canon, Jordan Canas-Flynn died in early September of 1985 in a car accident. This is my take on what Kevin Flynn went through that day after he found out what had happened. This may be triggering, so don't read if you're not comfortable with it.

**Disclaimer:** I don't look like the Disney company or the Dude, do I?

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**Well, I know the feeling of finding yourself stuck out on the ledge,**  
**And there ain't no healing from cutting yourself with the jagged edge.**  
**I'm telling you that it's never that bad,**  
**Take it from someone who's been where you're at,**  
**Laid out on the floor, and you're not sure you can take this anymore.**

He sat in the chair in front of his office desk and listened to what the police officers had to tell him. He projected the appearance of someone that was listening to what he was hearing. Honestly, he had stopped listening when they broke the news to him. He knew that he would lose it if he listened to what the officers were telling him. Kevin Flynn was holding it together as best as he could while he was gazing at the picture he had of Jordan on his desk. He had taken that picture of her when they had first started dating and went to get the film developed as soon as he could. He had sworn to her that he would keep it forever. Now, that was the only way that he would see her ever again. His entire world had crashed down around him when the police officers asked to speak with him in his office.

"Mr. Flynn," the older officer had said, "I regret to inform you that your wife was involved in a car accident this morning. Unfortunately, she died on the way to the hospital."

A sigh brought him out of his mind and he looked at the officer that had broken the news to him. Both officers were standing up and he watched as the older officer clapped a hand on his shoulder and passed him a business card. Flynn solemnly nodded and watched as the officers closed the door to his office behind them after they left. His entire world crashed down around him again and he buried his face in his hands and cried in the solace of his office.

**So, just give it one more try to a lullaby,**  
**And turn this up on the radio.**  
**If you can hear me now, I'm reaching out to let you know you're not alone.**  
**And if you can't tell, I'm scared as hell 'cause I can't get you on the telephone.**  
**So, just close your eyes, oh honey, here comes a lullaby.**  
**Your very own lullaby.**

_He had told her that he wouldn't be late for this. He had been late for too many damn things. He was glad that she put up with how he was and loved him for who he was, but he was pushing it. He stopped his motorcycle as quickly as he could and carelessly tossed his helmet onto the seat before he ran inside the Emergency Room. He asked where she was and found out that she was in delivery. Okay, maybe he wasn't in so much trouble yet. He ran down the hall he was directed to and soon found the right one._

_"Mr. Canas?" the doctor asked._

_Flynn stumbled over his words until he finally explained, "I'm Mr. Flynn, the father."_

_The doctor clapped a hand on his shoulder and handed him a small pair of medical scissors as the nurse said, "You're just in time to cut the cord."_

_His hands were shaking worse than they ever had, but he steadied them enough to use the scissors properly. He watched as his son was wrapped in a blue blanket and placed in his arms. Flynn smiled at the weight in his arms and decided then and there that he could get used to being a father. He walked over to Jordan and gently placed their newborn son in her arms as he kissed her on the forehead. "What should we name him?" he asked as he gently stroked his son's right cheek. Jordan smiled and replied, "His name is Samson, but let's just call him Sam."_

**Please, let me take you out of the darkness and into the light,**  
**'Cause I have faith in you that you're gonna make it through another night.**  
**Stop thinking about the easy way out,**  
**There's no need to go and blow the candle out,**  
**Because you're not done, you're far too young, and the best is yet to come.**

Kevin Flynn stood up from the chair and wiped away every evidence that he had been crying. He opened the door of his office on autopilot and walked into the family room before a familiar crying pulled himself out of the slump that he had been in. Flynn made his way to Sam's room and softly smiled when his son stopped crying for a few moments. He went over to Sam and lifted him into his arms. The two-year-old quickly grabbed onto the material of his father's shirt and made a contented noise. Kevin gently bounced his son in his arms as he made his way into the living room. Some part of him was happy that he could make his way to the couch without his legs giving out. He softly sighed as he sat down and turned Sam around.

The two-year-old blinked and asked, "Momma?"

Flynn bit his lip and swallowed against the lump in his throat. He took a few moments before he explained, "Momma's not coming home. A bad man hurt her."

Sam's bottom lip quivered and Kevin cradled him to his chest. He began to rub comforting circles on Sam's back and inwardly sighed when he wasn't greeted with very loud cries. Flynn bit his lip and swallowed down every emotion that threatened to rise up and overwhelm him. He had Sam to worry about. He needed to appear strong for his son. There needed to be a sense of normalcy before Jordan's funeral. There were so many things wrong with him thinking about that. She had been too young. She had her whole life in front of her, she had a family, and all of that was gone in an instant. No, he wasn't going to make it his own personal vendetta. He was just mad at the world at the moment. Sam's breathing evened out and Flynn slowly got up from the couch before he headed back to his son's room. At least Sam would have the chance to nap. Kevin was just waiting for the phone call he knew that he would get from Alan. If he wasn't crying at the time, he probably would answer the phone.

"Get some sleep, little man," he whispered as he laid Sam down on the bed before placing a kiss on his forehead. He gently shut the door behind him and didn't make it back to the living room before he started to cry again.

**So, just give it one more try to a lullaby, and turn this up on the radio.**  
**If you can hear me now, I'm reaching out to let you know that you're not alone.**  
**And, if you can't tell, I'm scared as hell 'cause I can't get you on the telephone.**  
**So, just close your eyes, oh honey, here comes a lullaby.**  
**Your very own lullaby.**

Flynn's sobs finally died down and they were replaced with small hiccups of sound. His entire frame was still shaking and he knew that he would cry other times that day. He couldn't do this. He couldn't be strong enough for his son. Sam needed a father who was strong. Flynn had always thought that he was strong. He had been strong for the longest time. Now, things were different. He had just lost his wife, so things would be different. He had been told by two police officers that he didn't know that a drunk driver had t-boned Jordan's car and she was killed on impact. The asshole had been driving a truck and Jordan had only been driving a small sedan. How the hell was that fair? He growled deep in his throat as he ran his hands through his hair before his sight landed on another picture of Jordan. The frame was facing him and he grabbed it off of the end table.

The phone in the kitchen rang but he made no move to get up. He kicked of his shoes and laid down on the couch before he looked at his wife's picture again. In this picture, just like every other that he had of her, she was smiling. He gazed at it for a few more moments before he set it back on the end table and looked at the wedding band that he still wore. As long as he was alive, he would never take it off. A knock at the door brought him out of his thoughts and he groaned as he got up from the couch. He hoped that it was Belinda or Donnelley that were coming home. They all needed to be together at this time. A sullen expression crossed his face as he opened the door and saw who was there.

A very disheveled Alan Bradley had been the one that was knocking. Flynn moved aside to let Alan in and gave him a look that said he wanted to wait until the door was closed before they started talking. "Why didn't you pick up the phone?" Alan asked as Kevin's hand wrapped around his arm. Flynn didn't answer but instead pulled him into the kitchen so that they were away from Sam's room. He didn't want his son to hear any of their conversation. "You scared me, Flynn," his friend explained with a forlorn look in his eyes. Flynn's face fell as he lowered his head and sighed.

"'m sorry, Alan. I just.. don't know what to do. I can't take it," he explained as his voice broke. Alan's hands went to Flynn's shoulders and he shook his head. The programmer shook his head again as he countered, "Flynn, I know you. You're stronger than this. Think about Sam. Think about Lora and me. Think about Jordan." Flynn pushed his friend away slightly as his resolve cracked and he turned around. He braced himself against the kitchen counter with both of his hands as sobs wracked his entire frame once again. He waved Alan off and tried to muster up enough resolve as he could. No, he couldn't gain any resolve anymore. Kevin Flynn felt like his heart had gotten ripped out of his chest and shoved back in without care.

**Well, everybody's hit the bottom, everybody's been forgotten.**  
**When everybody's tired of being alone, yeah, everybody's been abandoned,**  
**And left a little empty handed,**  
**So, if you're out there barely hangin' on…**

He had spent a good ten minutes just watching Sam sleep before the two-year-old woke up. Kevin smiled at his son before he picked him up and made his way over to the changing table. He looked down at Sam and saw that he was smiling a little. Yeah, he would smile. Flynn gently set Sam down on the pad and went through all of the motions of changing his son's diaper. He hadn't liked changing diapers at first, but he had soon gotten the hang of it. Sam giggled slightly once Flynn had finished. Kevin picked up his son once he had pulled Sam's pants back up. He sighed and glanced at the clock on his way out of the room. Time seemed to move so slowly. Days usually moved by so quickly, but this one dragged on and on. If the circumstances had been different, he would have been happy that this day was moving slowly.

"Down," Sam said as Kevin stopped.

Flynn chuckled softly and gently lowered Sam to the ground. Before he could move, Sam's hand closed around two of Flynn's fingers and father and son walked into the living room. He was thankful that Sam didn't seem to notice how much the living room seemed different. It was odd, thinking that a room was different, but it was. Jordan had brought a certain life into the entire house. His sight landed on some of her drawings that were still on the coffee table and a sad smile pulled at the corners of his mouth. He felt a tugging on his arm and saw that Sam was pointing to one of the drawers of the end table. He let out a soft hum and went over to the end table before he opened the drawer. He took out the tape recorder and looked at it as the sad smile crossed his face.

**Just give it one more try to a lullaby, and turn this up on the radio.**  
**If you can hear me now, I'm reaching out to let you know that you're not alone.**  
**And if you can't tell, I'm scared as hell 'cause I can't get you on the telephone.**  
**So, just close your eyes, oh honey, here comes a lullaby.**  
**Your very own lullaby.**  
**Oh honey, here comes a lullaby.**  
**Your very own lullaby.**

He went over to the couch and sat down as he watched Sam climb up on the couch beside him. He waited until his son was situated in his lap before he pressed the play button. "Kevin Flynn, what are you doing?" Jordan asked. Right, he remembered making the tape. Flynn's chuckle was heard and he replied, "I'm making a recording for the baby." Jordan's eye roll could be heard as she countered, "The baby would have heard my voice, and yours, for nine months." Sam giggled at that and snuggled closer to his father to the point that his head was against Flynn's chest. He wrapped his free hand around Sam and pulled him even closer. "Do you have anything else you want to say?" Flynn asked.

"I love you, darling. I also love you, Flynn. I will always love you," Jordan finished as the tape stopped.

Sam looked up at Flynn and he returned the look. He rewound the tape and pressed play once it was back at the beginning. Yeah, they were going to be just fine. She would always be with them both no matter what happened.

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***looks up from hiding spot*** Well, there's my songfic. Please leave a review if you feel so inclined. I will be doing more writing for the TRON fandom, but that won't come for a little while. ***waves* **Have a good day.


End file.
